Your Tone Is Not Appreciated

“Did you get my e-mail?” asked Carrie.

“Yes, and I’m ignoring it,” replied Miranda.

“So far not impressed with the e-mail,” Carrie said with exasperation.

This small conversation from Sex and the City ran through my head as I sat staring at my computer, rereading an e-mail that was making my blood pressure boil.

My generation has fallen completely dependent on e-mail, text messaging, basically instant communication. As I sat staring at this e-mail, I began to resent modern forms of technology.
I was working with a group of fellow public relations students on putting together a strategic communications conference in Portland, Oregon scheduled for Winter 2009. I love event planning; the flowers, the food, the speakers, every last detail. But the details were far from my mind when my group and I differed on the size of the event with the coordinator from the Journalism School (SOJC). My group wanted the first SOJC conference to start big; the coordinator had a smaller event in mind, completely devastating my teammates and me.

I read the e-mail again to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks with my emotions. There it was: “Woohoo! Can’t wait to plan this conference.” Personally, I can wait. How could one of my teammates have turned on our group and decided the smaller event was beneficial for the school? She won with betrayal.

I met with my group the next day, completely disappointed. As she arrived, I immediately asked why she changed her mind regarding the size of the event. Her reply shocked me: “I didn’t. Did you read the e-mail?” My dislike for e-mail only grew more as I forced the word “yes” through my gritted teeth.

Apparently, beneath her exhilarated “Woohoo!” was a response from the head of the SOJC giving us permission to create a large event. I felt embarrassed for not reading the e-mail in its entirety, but how was I supposed to know there was more to the message? Her tone was enough to make me close my computer.

Email is an extremely popular form of communication in both the business world and personal relationships. Unfortunately, the underlying tone of the e-mail message might be misinterpreted by one person, like in my case. By misreading or not reading the e-mail in its entirety, the smallest disagreement can rapidly spin out of control leading to a face-to-face misunderstanding or confrontation. Without effective communication on both ends, no business or personal relationships can survive.

I learned my lesson: read the entire e-mail before jumping to any conclusions. Communication is central to most conflict situations and can easily be avoided and/or resolved by communicating more efficiently with one another. But I can’t help but wonder, are all these new forms of communication really helping us communicate effectively? I'll blog, e-mail, text, instant message or tweet to let you know...