Your Tone Is Not Appreciated

“Did you get my e-mail?” asked Carrie.

“Yes, and I’m ignoring it,” replied Miranda.

“So far not impressed with the e-mail,” Carrie said with exasperation.

This small conversation from Sex and the City ran through my head as I sat staring at my computer, rereading an e-mail that was making my blood pressure boil.

My generation has fallen completely dependent on e-mail, text messaging, basically instant communication. As I sat staring at this e-mail, I began to resent modern forms of technology.
I was working with a group of fellow public relations students on putting together a strategic communications conference in Portland, Oregon scheduled for Winter 2009. I love event planning; the flowers, the food, the speakers, every last detail. But the details were far from my mind when my group and I differed on the size of the event with the coordinator from the Journalism School (SOJC). My group wanted the first SOJC conference to start big; the coordinator had a smaller event in mind, completely devastating my teammates and me.

I read the e-mail again to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks with my emotions. There it was: “Woohoo! Can’t wait to plan this conference.” Personally, I can wait. How could one of my teammates have turned on our group and decided the smaller event was beneficial for the school? She won with betrayal.

I met with my group the next day, completely disappointed. As she arrived, I immediately asked why she changed her mind regarding the size of the event. Her reply shocked me: “I didn’t. Did you read the e-mail?” My dislike for e-mail only grew more as I forced the word “yes” through my gritted teeth.

Apparently, beneath her exhilarated “Woohoo!” was a response from the head of the SOJC giving us permission to create a large event. I felt embarrassed for not reading the e-mail in its entirety, but how was I supposed to know there was more to the message? Her tone was enough to make me close my computer.

Email is an extremely popular form of communication in both the business world and personal relationships. Unfortunately, the underlying tone of the e-mail message might be misinterpreted by one person, like in my case. By misreading or not reading the e-mail in its entirety, the smallest disagreement can rapidly spin out of control leading to a face-to-face misunderstanding or confrontation. Without effective communication on both ends, no business or personal relationships can survive.

I learned my lesson: read the entire e-mail before jumping to any conclusions. Communication is central to most conflict situations and can easily be avoided and/or resolved by communicating more efficiently with one another. But I can’t help but wonder, are all these new forms of communication really helping us communicate effectively? I'll blog, e-mail, text, instant message or tweet to let you know...

"Hello Lover!"

I thought the lingering ache of a broken heart was intolerable...I was wrong. The constant, agonizing pain of having a tonsillectomy is enough to make me beg for another broken heart.

A few short hours after my surgery last Thursday, I didn't think the day had any hope of getting better. I never thought I would be drinking water with a plastic spoon and attempting to eat baby food again in my life. As I was lying in my bed, fantasizing about a cosmopolitan, I turned on my last saving grace: Oprah. At 4:00 p.m., my life went from bad to fabulous; from a simple flip-flop to an extraordinary high heel. As the words, "Hello lover!" bellowed from my television, I knew today the fantastic women of Sex and the City would be on Oprah.

The women were put together so beautifully, each exuding their own personality. Sarah Jessica Parker looked fabulous in a bright colored dress and matching Christian Louboutin heels. The entourage soon followed including the fantastic Mr. Big. The energy of the movie was palpable and my excitement for the film only grew. The interviews were personable and absolutely delightful, enough for a smile to appear to conceal my pain.

I can honestly say the hour flew by. From the clips of the film, laughs of the characters and insight into the gorgeous wardrobe, I couldn’t help but think: These four women have created a lifestyle worth imitating and striving to achieve. The show, and now film, has helped produce a generation of women who will not settle for anything less than life-long friendships, rewarding relationships, successful careers and wardrobe full of wealth and knowledge. Many women, including myself, grew up fantasizing about a single girl’s life in New York City. Sex and the City proved this life is not only possible but highly desirable. The show is revolutionary not to mention ‘stunning, and impossibly fresh looking.’

Then I took a step back and looked at the women behind these characters. Each one leads a remarkable life: happy, prosperous, full of love. Sex and the City would not nearly be as successful if the actresses were constantly being arrested for drunk driving or possession of the unknown. The reputation of each actress credits the production. A fan does not want to fall in love with a character knowing that there is a drug addict off set.

The way the women of Sex and the City exude their happiness and confidence shows they are credible, respectful actresses who take pride in their work. This is the ultimate client for a publicist. It is delightful to work with people who respect themselves and their careers. It is actresses like Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon that keep me involved and hopeful in this industry. We all know what happened to the publicists for Lindsay and Britney: they were fired.

So thank you to the fabulous women of Sex and the City. You made my excruciating pain invisible for an hour and reaffirmed my passion for public relations… and shoes of course!